10 things that women do during sex that men hate

[Nergal]

 

For far too long, the attention has been on what women want in bed and how men fail to meet those expectations. When it comes to matters concerning in between sheets, issues that men hate are simply swept under the carpet.  I ThePornDude will not take that lying down. It’s about time someone addressed the things women do in bed that disregard the man’s ‘welfare.’ To the ladies, good sex CAN keep a man and vice versa. Because I have already addressed what women hate, how about I let the women know what we men detest in between the sheets?

1.    Being lazy

Listen, ladies, being lazy in bed is similar to crimes against humanity. While different women have different skills in bed, it is not only annoying but also downright offensive for a woman to just lay there whimpering like a python that has just swallowed a whole cow. As the saying goes, it takes two to tango. Men also desire a woman who initiates sex and is a freak between the sheets. The last thing men want is a lazy bum woman who lies there waiting for the man to do everything.

2.    Being too loud

I understand women think that moaning too loudly will make the man feel like a stud. Big mistake. A little moaning is all fine with men, but we don’t want it sounding like an overdone opera. Men DON’T appreciate it when a woman screams like a maniac thinking that the man will feel macho. Far from it. It is embarrassing, scary, and annoying. Over-exaggerated moans will simply make him certain you are faking it.

3.    Lacking in simple hygiene

Many women score below average when it comes to this one. It may as well be the reason he has not touched you, or he’s cheating. Ladies, do not sleep next to your man without taking a shower. The sweat and unpleasant body odor make for a stomach-wrenching combination. Hair in the armpits is also an absolute turnoff. Don’t even get me started on failing to brush your teeth when the man may have wanted to come in for a kiss.  It’s simply gross.

4.    Crying out another dude’s name

Are you fucking kidding me? No man will stomach this, ever. Do you want to have a few brothers on speed dial? That’s your problem. But during sex, if you must call out a name, it must be ‘baby, darling, my love,’ etc. I  understand that some men are so lousy in bed and for you to be aroused you have to think of your ex or some hot guy like Omari Hardwick of the series ‘Power,’ just don’t call out a name if it’s not of the man humping you. Be warned.

5.    Wearing lousy nightwear

Ever heard that men are visual beings? That’s every bit true. Men get aroused by what they see. Some women tend to wear uninspiring nightwear. Thick cotton pajamas, huge headgear, socks? What are you expecting? Don’t even think about going to bed with that. And why would a woman wear combat gear to bed? It’s not a war we are making, its love damn it!

6.    Bringing issues

They say a man is at his most vulnerable during pleasure but my dear sister that is hardly the best time for you to bring up a text message you read on his phone or a girl whose posts he keeps liking on Facebook. It also is NOT the time to talk about new clothes your girlfriends are wearing and how you feel left out and all that. Men hate it when you bring out all those messy issues when he is trying to get his cookie. If you must bring up such issues, do it before or after. Probably after. You know what, choose another time altogether to raise those issues.

7.    Faking an orgasm

The issue of female orgasm and how women fake it is so divisive it probably should be declared a universal disaster. Ladies, if you have to fake that big O, you better be good at it so he won’t notice. Men absolutely hate it when a woman fakes an orgasm. Sometimes it is hard to find the G-spot even after the man has been at it for half an hour. Probably the only option left is to fake it to massage the man’s ego.  Fake or not, just make it sound real because if he finds out, you are faking it, well…It may not end well for you.

8.    Being rigid

This is not a cue for you to do somersaults in bed but dear ladies, men, really hate it when women are rigid in bed. For a minute, forget what your pastor said or what your man will think if you get a bit kinky. Surely you can do better than offer missionary position all the time?

Want some little advice? Be a bit spontaneous and make sex a thrilling experience, not just a routine. Do not overdo it but at least be open to trying out some new positions as long as the two of you are comfortable.

9.    Asking for your phone

I don’t care whether you are enjoying it or not, asking for your phone to pick up a call from your girlfriend who only wants to bitch is unacceptable. The man may be twisting your nipples like a knob, and you do not like it one bit but chatting while he is going down south on you is simply pathetic. The thing is, men have an ego that requires constant massaging no matter how little it is. One way of badly bruising his ego is picking up your phone while he is trying to prove what a macho he is on top of you. Keep the goddamn phone away.

10.    Telling him when to orgasm

This is not, and has never been, a win-win situation. Ladies, it is wrong to tell your man to hold off cumming until that time you feel it is convenient for you. This will not only make him anxious; it may actually lead to premature ejaculation. Don’t even think of telling him to orgasm because that sounds like ‘could you hurry up and finish?’ Men hate that passionately.

Conclusion

If you are guilty of any of the above crimes, there is still hope for you; that is if you are willing to change. I believe that every lady is guilty of at least one. Men have spoken. Avoid all of them like the plague and make your sex life a thrilling experience.