10 people reveal how many times they actually have sex in a month

[Wilhelm]

Here are two truths about sex: the first is that most people worry about how often they do – or don’t – have sex.

The second is that most people lie about how often they do, or don’t, have sex.

illustration of couple having sex13 thoughts that run through people’s minds when they have sex for the first time
I have always thought this is a shame; if we could all be more open about the frequency of hook-ups it would go a long way to ending the taboo and shame that shrouds the issue.

How often you have sex depends only on how often you and your partner want it; there is no gold standard, and the tally will rise and fall with the ebb and flow of life.

In this spirit, ten people have revealed how many times they really have sex in a month.

Alistair
Probably about 12 times a month, but a few of those are on the same day.

That’s what happens when you get married.

Jenna
None, which is precisely the amount of sex I want.

Delia
My boyfriend and I used to have sex about 40 times a month. That went on for two years.

Then we moved in together.

Now it’s four times a month. Tops.

Jarek
I have sex about once a week, so not much above four times in the space of a month.

I could have more but I don’t really want to.

Lisa
In a good month we have sex six times.

We’re engaged and love each other immensely, but we’re both stressed out.

We just don’t have time and we both have other things on our minds.

Martin
I’m married, and my wife and I have sex once or twice a week.

Having children has been the main reason it isn’t more. 

Violet
I’ve worked it out: it’s 0.2 times a month.

Pat
My partner and I are in a long distance relationship so we only get to see each other every other month.

When we do, we go at it like there is no tomorrow.

So it averages out at about 12 to 15 times every two months.

Ash
On average, it’s probably about 12 times per month, sometimes more, sometimes less.

It just depends on both our schedules.

Rob
If we are only including sex with another actual person then I would say I have sex about 25 times in a month.

Does the time of year affect how much sex we have?
According to a survey of 2,000 people by sex toy retailer Lovehoney people have more sex during sunnier months.

July sees the average person having double the amount of sex they do in November.

Months ranked by sexiness, according to the survey:

1. July 4 times a week
2. August 3.7 times a week
3. June 3.2 times a week
4. May 3 times a week
5. December 2.9 times a week
6. February 2.8 times a week
7. September 2.7 times a week
8. April 2.6 times a week
8. October 2.6 times a week
10. March 2.5 times week
11. January 2.3 times a week
12. November 2.1 times week