We live in a race-blind society, in the sense that if you're a certain race cops are way more likely to blind you.

The homepage of Twitter should just be a clock counting how long since the last black person murdered by the cops trended. #SandraBland

Jurassic World is about a Man-made monster that gets out of control & destroys its creator. Specifically, capitalism. http://t.co/4MoTD8vrCM

.@Radiolab is the perfect choice if you enjoy science and sobbing gently at your desk: https://t.co/yCrsSK9MJK

When someone tells me they're working on a "fish out of water" story I assume it's either a snuff film, or they don't get how fish work.

They say you shouldn't make blanket statements, but screw it: I think that all afghans are cozy and I don't care who knows it. #truthbomb

Did I just register the email addresses [email protected] and [email protected]? You tell me.

"Y'know History tends to frown on gassing Jews in showers." - excerpt from my upcoming book "Letters to a Farting Girlfriend."

"She eyed me coyly as I used the soul stealing picture box on her head." Excerpt from my d… http://t.co/VmvH2Jtfd2 http://t.co/Eai1UFovxK

"Lucky for you, all the comics here tonight speak Hawaiian." I don't think he realized that his joke is about imperialism.

People who believe in Cosby's unerring goodness despite all evidence to the contrary are devout Theoists.

RT @thepitnyc: Tonight's #OSSS crew @MikeBlejer @benkharakh @alexissuetoyou @CourtSpiller @meg927 @MarkStetsond @MicahSherman 8PM! http://t…

People saying #BBHMMVideo isn't feminist enough are clinically diagnosable haters. Of horror, pulp, and of women making interesting things.

In memoriam. http://t.co/uOX84ZTHxO

A Frenchwoman gave me a Belgian beer with an American flag on it. I'm nailing 4th of July. http://t.co/iY568BCqpw http://t.co/Cbl8Rvz97k

"I'm sure the farmers markets in Portland have a very diverse selection." Yup, they've got over 700 varieties of white people.

As a fanboy I am deeply offended by the decision to make Sabertooth black. #Creed @NerdistDotCom @michaelb4jordan https://t.co/P0CUjSpU1W

Sure I've had a threesome, just y'know, not all at once.

Looks like we're getting the Vince Vaughn we deserve. #TrueDetectiveSeason2

Just saw a gay guy wearing a camouflage vest. He was workin' it, but odd day to wear clothing specifically designed for hiding. #Pride2015

There is nothing more demoralizing than starting your day by finding a bit of cookie in your belly button.

Thanks to the cropping you can barely tell that she's a bookish mermaid. http://t.co/PSEBNMu14T http://t.co/GVPN5tHC1r

Hey everyone! Look at this picture of food! Am I doing it right? #instagram http://t.co/c9sIeaJhWi http://t.co/TLnXYbCRfq

Got a ton of bug bites on my face at the beach, but don't worry, I peed all over it. #outd… http://t.co/WYtCuQFUHm http://t.co/0y8prXDeyf

Incidentally, Obama's def not the first sitting president to use the n-word, but is he the first who knew he was being taped when he did?